Check with me before you eat anything out of our freezer!

We have one embryo left and I finally got our renewal notice in the mail the other day. We have decided to renew for another year even though I am no where near the point of getting that sucker implanted in my uterus. Just the thought makes me want to go to bed and not get up for a week. I wish there was something they could do just to knock me out for the waiting period and then wake me up and tell me "You are pregnant" or "Sorry it didn't work". Well wait, then let's go a step further and knock me out until the first trimester is over or EVEN BETTER, let me be out the whole 9 months. That way there is no chance I could drive myself and Josh crazy.

I guess I should look into the testing before I even entertain the thought of doing anything with this last little egg. I was happy to know that if we decide not to go through with the last egg, we can donate it to someone else. But then I started thinking how messed up that is. 1. Why would someone want an infertile's egg? and 2. That is OUR egg and you bet your sweet butt the clinic is going to charge whoever they give it to something for it. If we donate it, shouldn't we get a cut of that? I mean it is our egg and sperm. Give it to me, I will pop it in our freezer and check out the street value.

Am I ready to get back on the saddle? Well actually "In the stirrups"

We have one frozen egg still waiting on it's would-be parents to make a decision on whether we can attempt to make a family with it. I am so torn b/c we have paid for storage and I hate to think we wasted all that money for an egg that will be thrown away. On the other hand, am I ready to go through this again? I have just recently allowed myself to even toy with the idea and it is extremely frightening.
Before I would even attempt a frozen cycle, I would have tests run that are now covered by my insurance since I have miscarried twice. So it will be a long road ahead of me full of more tears and let downs or one of a new life. I feel like I am on the high dive and trying to decide if I should jump right into the unknown or if I should climb down the stairs to the hard cold ground I am familiar with.