Tuesday, August 23, 2011


Has anyone tried Acupuncture along with fertility treatments? What is your take on it during a frozen cycle and do you think it helped? How many times did you do it? Do you think it helped your chances or at least helped you mentally?

Monday, August 22, 2011

"That is a beautiful uterus"

Well in full Kelley fashion, I started spotting Friday after the RE's office closed. I tried to call twice to see if I could get a live person, no luck. I could feel myself going into panic mode. What if I can't get through tomorrow and Monday is too late, what if I have to get baseline sonogram tomorrow or this cycle will have to be cancelled. But I didn't allow my mind to go there, it would work out the way it was supposed to. So I set my alarm for 8am Friday morning to be the first jolly infertile to call in to tell them I have started my period. I always get confused on what to call my first day of my cycle. I have always said the first time I see blood when I wipe (or shove the toilet paper up there to be sure - all my fellow infertiles knw what I am talking about!) I have started. Even though, I may not even need a pad that first day, I call it day 1. You would think I would know better, that the first day of your cycle according to the RE is the first day of a steady flow. But in my spaz nature, I start thinking well what is a full flow? I know what I think it is but is my RE referring to something different. Once again, I calmed myself down and said "quit overthinking it"

Everything worked out and I made an appointment to go in today at 8:45. I went in, handed over my cashiers check for a baby (they will not take checks or debit or credit cards so I was not able to earn any airline miles off this - LAME!) and Dr. L did my baseline sonogram. Before he put the wand in he told me again that the embryos they put in last time were a 2 and a 3 (average and below average) and reassured me again that my frozen little popsicle is a 5BB, which means much better quality that the other two) and he was optimistic about this cycle. He said the lining looked good and I had a beautiful uterus. I didn't know what to say so being my polite southern and sometimes awkward self, I said "Thank you". Then thought why did I just thank him for that? He smiled and ignored the comment. Yes, he had the magic wand up "there" and I was the one who made it awkward.

I go back in 2 weeks to check lining.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

That Kid

I feel bad for any kid that we have (either through fertility treatments or adoption) b/c let's face it, the bar has been set really high. After everything we have been through, are going through and will go through to add one more to our family, this kid better make us proud, do well in school, make good life choices, go to college, and be a responsible, respectable adult or heads will roll.

Josh and I were talking the other night that if the child ever tells me "You don't love me" that he will probably have to restrain me from physically attacking him or her. And you know what, he is right. There would definitely be some "slappage" going on in that situation.

Honestly, I hope we have a healthy child but I also hope I never forget all these feelings and emotions I have right now regarding having children. I think it will make me a better mom for going through everything I have.

Also, we will have a girl. Why? B/c that is just how our life goes. And she will test our patience on many occasions.

Thursday, August 11, 2011


So I am trying to be more pro-active and will do anything to help my chances this cycle, so I tried acupuncture. I went to my first appointment last Friday and here comes the hotness and the red splotches on my chest, and the nerves, and blood pressure rising and this was all when I was filling out the paperwork. Once she took me back to my little room, I asked her if it hurt and her response was "well they are needles (not the response I wanted) but after all the injections you have had, this is nothing" and when I look at it that way, she is totally right. I had to have injections in my belly and hip for over 6 weeks, I can take an hour of her putting tiny needles in me. I can't help it, I am still freaking out at this point. I kept envisioning PinHead from the Hellraiser movies or that scene from Final Destination 100 where the guy has all the needles in him then he falls off bed or something falls on him (at this point, I can't remember but it is still extremely frightening to think about either way)

I ask her a bunch of questions but I don't remember now what they are except I did ask her "how many needles?" she smirked and said "well quite a few" Here comes the PANIC ATTACK! "Quite a few like 100?" I responded and I was beginning to feel faint. Her response was laughter and said "Like 10. You Funny" and laughed some more. I thought well glad I can entertain as I start to calm down.

She then looks at my tongue and feels my pulse, tells me I am cold and need to drink ginger tea and eat pineapple every day and exercise. Ugh, exercise. It is 100 + degrees and my gym membership is frozen at the moment so that is the last thing I want to do.

Then I take my pants off and climb up on the table (sounds like the beginning of a bad porn) and she comes back in and starts sticking me with needles. They didn't hurt at all but I was hyped up from the anticipation that I was still a little whacked. She just chit chatted with me while sticking me and I know I was tense and she kept asking if I was ok and asking me to talk to her. Maybe I turned white? Who knows. But after she had stuck me on feet, legs, tummy and my head (yes, HEAD!) she hooked up electrodes to the needles and I got a little pulse in all of them, then I got to just lay there for 30 minutes with pulsing needles in me. And I dug it. Not sure why, but just laying there was relaxing and I even dozed off for a min. Next time I am going to to bring my IPOD with some laid back songs and listen to it for 30 minutes.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011


You may remember, I have one frozen little embryo waiting to be thawed out and put in my belly. Well after almost 2 years of regaining strength and composure from my first IVF cycle, we made the follow up appointment. Now I realize this doesn't seem like a big deal to most but for me, this is HUGE. To say I was devestated after the first IVF is an understatement and I honestly wasn't sure I could ever go through all that again but alas the day has come and I have an appointment today with everyone's favorite RE.

The clinic I go to has 2 REs and we happen to favor one over the other. I am not sure if it was all the meds and hormones that were being pumped into me the last time I saw these guys but one of them, Dr. H. did not have a bedside manner I responded to. So when we made our appointment, I specifically asked for Dr. L. To be honest, I trust both of their opinions but how you treat and talk to me is very important when I am going through such an emotional rollercoaster and Dr. L seemed to be more on my wave length.

We have decided not to share any of this with anyone. (which is why I am blogging and saving each entry to post until after the cycle is over) It is kinda weird not telling my friends and parents to "buckle their seatbelts b/c we are all getting back on this train!" but Josh and I wanted to do this alone. Will it make it easier? I have no idea, I hope so. Do I want to call my BFFs right now to tell them about the appointment, kinda. But I will restrain.

Just got back from appointment and it went really well. I thought I was staying all calm and chilled but then I looked down and my chest was red and splotchy (which is a definite sign of nerves). Dr. L was very positive about the little embryo that could. Looks like the little thing actually looks better than the other two they put in for the fresh cycle so that is a good sign. Also, the meds are not going to be a lot easier and less costly (no injections - WAHOO!) I also found out that my insurance covers Accupuncture and the place close to my house is actually in network! I get up to 20 visits a year and the co-pay is $20.00 so guess who is gonna go get stuck with a bunch of needles soon? THIS GIRL!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Screw You Living Social

I, like many people, LOVE a good deal. And when I say love, I mean, I actually get EXCITED and giddy when I give the cashier coupons at the grocery store and see my total start to go down. So, of course I signed up for Groupon and Living Social and get daily updates as to what deals they have going on. I have received the following update via email (twice) and now by text.

I am debating getting this deal, showing up with a stroller and a doll on the first day just to see the look on people's faces. Meet my daughter, Princess Petunia Merryweather Foxy Brown Franklin. She's shy.