A few years ago if you asked me if I thought turning 30 would bother me, I would have definitely said "no way, it's just a number". So how come on the day before I turn 30, I am dreading my birthday more than Aunt Flow. Maybe because I am used to Aunt Flow showing up monthly and the disappointment she brings with her. Maybe because the fertility doctor told me that my chances of having my own children are dropping drastically every year, maybe because I am no longer young and now the people who work in the malls are referring to me as "ma'am", maybe because now I can't just think "it's OK I am not pregnant, I have time". I guess hitting 30 makes me feel like my time is running out and the door on having children is closing faster and faster every month.
I know when you make a timeline for yourself, you can never expect for it to work out exactly how you planned but it is still a disappointment. I honestly thought by 30, I would be married, have at least one kid and own my own house. Marriage - CHECK, everything else is still on my to-do list. And if you know me at all, you know how I LOVE to mark things off my to-do lists so these two are killing me.
So to add injury to my already foul mood of being an infertile non home owner at 30, I was hit with the news what someone else I know is pregnant unexpectedly. I don't get how all the ladies get pregnant unexpectedly. But I won't even go there.
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