Mother's Day

I am very close to my mother (and when I say VERY close, I mean I would still let her carry me on her hip if I wasn't too heavy for her to carry around) So, Mother's Day doesn't sting as much as it could. I tend to just concentrate on her and what an awesome mom she is and leave it at that. Or at least I try. I can't help but add up the years sometimes though. I sometimes think, if I hadn't miscarried this would be my third Mother's Day or if if the result from IVF had been different, this would actually my first one. What if's can drive me crazy. And to top it off, I woke up Mother's Day morning to my monthly visitor and I just laughed. Of course I started THAT day. It seems like my body just wants to kick me when I am down. Now, in my uncrazy moments, I realize that I could probably turn any day I start my period into something in my mind (I am dramatic like that). But last month, starting on the day of a baby shower I had to attend then on Mother's Day? Come on body, or universe, or fate, or whoever or whatever decides this kind of stuff, cut this chick a break.

It seems like it is BABYPALOOZA around me with pregnant people or husbands of pregnant people (I found out 4 guys I work with have wives that are expecting). I am not kidding. I know at least 10 people who are expecting at the moment and one that just had one this past weekend. And with every announcement, I smile (if person is in front of me) but in my head I am screaming. I wonder when this will end for me? I need it to or I am contemplating cutting off all contact with outside world. (yeah right)