So I would like to think from the outside looking in, I look pretty calm, cool and collected, normal and put together. No one would know that I am currently in my 2WW. I know I have done everything I can possibly do to make this work, now it is up to God. But that doesn't stop me from researching on the internet how things went down for other infertiles!! It is like my little guilty pleasure. When I am alone I start googlin' all kinds of IVF stuff. Here is a little sample:
- "How many days post transfer positive BFP"
- "5BB embryo IVF"
- "nausea after IVF"
- "Frozen cycle HPT"
The list is embarrasingly longer than this but I still have some dignity so you only get a sample of my googling subjects. Some people obsess over HPTs and buy tons of them only to hide them in drawers and under cabinets and quietly pee on when they are alone, hoping to see the second line. Luckily, I am not one of those (I am very cheap and don't want to waste the money on tests) but I am a secret google fool, which I know is even worse than peeing on a stick every morning. I have read every "what if" scenario out there and it doesn't make me feel any better or any worse. I HAVE TO STOP!!!! Gotta go, just realized I haven't googled "FET 31 year old 5bb embryo grade" - See I am crazy!!!
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