Monday, October 10, 2011
I am "fine"
Women say this all the time and it should be obvious when these statement is uttered, normally it is far from the truth. I have no idea why I do this or why I even try to pretend I am "fine" when I am clearly not. I have a lot of emotions I am trying to work through now and the worst part is I do not feel like anyone understands my feelings. When I try to open up, I get dumbfounded looks and "I am sorry" or someone just changes the subject. I understand people don't know what to say but I cannot stand hearing "I am sorry" anymore or seeing another :( on texts. I am sad. I am angry. I am lonely. I am so many different things that I don't know how to process it anymore. And more than anything I am tired of acting like I am ok with everything. I am not ok with it. I don't want to hear about pregnancies, baby showers, sonograms, anything to do with pregnancy anytime soon. Everyone just expects me to "get over it" or not talk about it anymore. If I hear I "should just be happy with the good things I have" one more time, I am more than likely going to freak out on that person. Unless you have ever dealt with this, you have NO idea what I am going through. I guess it is just so frustrating because even when I am in a group of family and friends I still feel alone.
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We undestand Kelley! Your IF sisters understand and are listening. Preach on. You're feelings are normal and you are not alone. PS - love your bookshelf onteh right side of my screen here. :)
ReplyDelete(Here from ICLW)
I could have written this. I feel the exact same way. I am so tired of feeling like the people I need support from the most don't get it. I mean, they don't and that is the reality, but it would be nice, just for one day, to feel like they "get" our situation.
ReplyDeleteI have felt this way so many times in the past few years (but have not been in your exact situation, so I'm sure it's much harder for you). Unfortunately, most people just can't understand, but you are not alone.
ReplyDeleteSending big hugs your way!