Angry Blog

Josh and I went in yesterday for what the doctor and his staff refer to as "Patient Education". The nurse went over meds and then showed us how to mix the meds and shoot me. (OUCH) This was all very overwhelming and I was in tears at one point. The nurse asked if we already had certain meds to start the next day. No one had told us anything about meds except to come in for this patient education. Then she asked us if we had filled out forms. Um no, we haven't been given any forms. I was glad Josh was with me because he took the bull by the horns and asked to talk to the Doctor. I was just sitting there, big old tears starting to form from my frustration.

The Doctor comes in and was a little brusque with us, which upset me even more. When we started asking questions, he said "we went over all of this in the consultation". If I wasn't so upset, I would have said something along the lines of "you never told me to order this first round of meds in the consultaion. You never told us about these release forms and the IVF folder we should have received but you sure took the check last week from us" But I didn't say anything. I just sat there fighting back tears. Josh told me later, "we are spending a lot of money for this, so anytime I have a questions, I expect it to be answered". Honestly, I am completely turned off by this particular Doctor and now prefer this partner perform the procedure. This guy did inform me (with his excellent bedside manner) that this is a very aggressive protocol and in his own words "this is it". Really? THANKS ASSHOLE.

So the Doctor leaves to go wipe his butt with our money no doubt and the nurse continues the training and she sends off the order form for all the meds. This all could have done when I was there last Monday for my trial transfer and then we could have ordered meds then and I would already have them to start today (yes I take my first injection tonight when I get home). But since they waited until the last minute, I had to drive all the way to Euless last night to get medication from the only pharmacy around that carries it. OH! It gets better. I paid $50 more for each injection than I would if I could have ordered them a week ago. And I had to get 4 injections so they made us spend $200 more than we needed to because they dont' have all their ducks in a row.

I may come across as angry and I don't mean to but I am not at all happy with my experience with these people so far. I am spending a LOT of money with them and I do not feel like I am getting quality service from the physicians at all. They act like we should know what to do. HOW WOULD WE? We have never done this before. I have no problems at all with the office staff. They have been extremely nice and helpful. But I have an issue with a physician who acts like I am annoying him when I ask a question.

And the worst part is that because of this stress, Josh and I had a fight. I don't want this to cause problems between us but it has and it probably will again before it is all said and done. We are both BEYOND frustrated with this whole stinkin' process. We just need to stick together, which we will but I swear IVF is the most frustrating and horrible process I have ever gone through....and I haven't even taken the first shot yet. God Help Us All.

Timeline we received from Dr in consultation

I am sorry it has taken me so long to get the timelines with drawings posted. But here they are for your viewing and informational pleasure. (if you click on timelines, you can see bigger version)

Timeline #1 process from beginning to end:





Drawing #2 Actual IVF procedure (with drawings):

Beware: Exam Room 16

Yesterday was my trial transfer. Originally I had this appointment set up as a lunch appointment at the Arlington office but after talking with a friend who has gone through IVF about her trial transfer experience, I freaked out and changed it to a late afternoon appointment at the Irving office. I even asked a friend to come with me in case I couldn't drive home, which was not neccesary at all but better to be prepared for anything just in case!

I arrived at the office about ten mintutes early and went back to exam room 16. Note to self: if they ever try to put me in that room again, demand a different one! I was already hot and had the red splotches on my chest because I was nervous but the minute I walked into this room I thought I was going to die! It was so hot! I looked at the nurse and she seemed to be ok so I thought maybe I was just hot because I was so nervous. Once she left, I stripped my bottoms off like I was in a race and first prize was an easy pregnancy and healthy baby. I have never been so happy to get undressed at a Doctor's office in my life. I even thought to myself "I am so hot, I wish I could take off my shirt too" hahahaha. (I left the shirt on, didn't want to make it awkward for the Doctor)

The walls in the office are very thin I gather because I could hear the Doctor in the room next to me. (see previous blog about my obsession to listen to everything outside my exam room) This time I could hear a lot more and the couple in the room next to me is having twins and on their first IVF attempt! So that made me feel good. At this point, I am sweating and looking around for an air vent to stand under. No such luck. So I wait, bottomless with a paper sheet over me, sweating, sticking to the paper under me and about to be examined. GREAT.

Finally the Doctor comes in and the minute he steps in the room he states "It's a lil warm in here huh?" I responded "Oh, I thought it was just me" Why did I say this? I don't know. I knew dang well that the room was steaming hot but I had to play it cool. He then states "Oh this is the hottest room in the clinic" My automatic response was "Can we change rooms?" I was THAT hot. I would rather get dressed again, go into another room to get undressed to be examined than be torturedin this hot room one more minute. But he said it would be really quick and it was. (I think he was hot too)

The trial transfer is just to make sure he can get past my cervix without any problems and is very similiar to a sonogram and the IUI I had combined. Even when he said "you may cramp a little", I didn't feel anything. He put a drop of water in my uterus then did a sonogram to make sure he could see the water and then he checked out my ovaries. Done and Done. I was very happy I didn't have to have my uterus filled up with water since I had recently had the dye test. The whole way to the appointment I just kept wondering "how will the water get out? Will I need a pad or a diaper" but I never got the chance to ask, which I am definitely not complaining about.

I go back next Monday, the 24th at noon to go over meds. This time I am going to the Arlington office and I will request the chilliest room they have. I am not shy. Mama likes it cold!

Trial Transfer

The 17th is not just a egg check appointment like I originally thought. This will be the trial transfer. I have to be at the Irving office at 3:00 for the quick little prodecure. Just wanted to let you all know. I will let you know how that appointment goes! :)

Aunt Flow has arrived. (and right on time)

We have been hoping and praying that Aunt Flow wouldn't show up this month and that I would have the pleasure of calling the fertility Doctor and tell him "thanks but no thanks. Infertile are we no more!" But Aunt Flow tends to be a pretty punctual visitor and like many months before, she showed up on time.


Thus begins our "IVF adventure". I had my first real appointment with Dr. Le today. One thing I do not like about going to this Doctor is stripping down and sitting in that chair contraption for what seems like an infinite amount of time waiting for the doctor. I am so paranoid that I can't help but listen to what is being said outside and if I can't hear, I tend to make up my own conversations.

Here is an example of the ridiculous things I think up while waiting for the doctor:

Dr Le looking at my chart: "Man, this ones never going to conceive. Good luck with those sad looking eggs. She may as well give it up and get a dog or adopt" Then he and the nurse laugh at my sad pathetic chart and he knocks on the door to come meet me with an ear to ear grin.

Yeah, I know. Ludicrous thoughts run through my head. I am a complete spaz and am trying to either fix that or embrace it and laugh at it.


After I got over the anxiety, it was pretty simple. I went in and they did a sonogram and I only have 6 eggs this month. :( A woman my age typically has between 15 and 20 so I am low low low low low low low. So since I don't release that many eggs, I will not be taking birth control like other IVF'ers do.

Dr. Le said he has read some studies that show that the monthly selection of the eggs could come even earlier than the first day of your cycle. (even a week before) Since the body then naturally trims down the selection to just one egg at the end of your cycle (the healthiest and best egg ever!), he thinks maybe my selection is happening earlier so I may have had 12 eggs but they have already been trimmed down to 6 eggs by the time of my first sonogram. He is going to give me medicine to suppress the hormone that will make the selection early so that next cycle (the IVF cycle) there will be more eggs to choose from.

I go back on the 17th of August for another sonogram to see how many of my sad, lonely 6 eggs are still there and healthy. Then, we start talking injections! OUCH! Dr. Le is betting on my age, the fact I have gotten pregnant before (even though I miscarried) and that even though I don't have a lot of eggs, the quality should still be good.

I bet people have told you this before. It is "QUALITY" not "QUANTITY" that matters and that is SO true for us right now! :)

We truly appreciate all the thoughts and prayers you guys have been sending our way. Please keep them coming. (thanks Baleigh!)