Gee, how about some cheese with that "whine"?

It's a little embarrassing to go back and read through my posts because the majority of them are SO WHINEY and WOAH IS ME. After a while, I would be surprised if anyone came back to read. But I have to remind myself that the purpose of this blog is to work through my feelings about our situation and not necessarily for the enjoyment of my 3-4 readers. Yes I think i have that many readers, jealous? I am BIG TIME in the blog world.

My friend had her son's 1st birthday party this weekend and that morning she called to inform me that two of the chicks that will be there are expecting and one of them is already griping about being pregnant. Yay. I could tell she felt awkward and I hate that people feel that way about telling me something that would otherwise be happy news. I hate that people need to try and warn me if a pregnant woman will be within 20 feet of me, especially when I barely know the knocked up chicks. It makes me wonder sometimes why they tell me beforehand. Do they think if I didn't know and when it came up, I will burst into tears and run out the door screaming or make some kind of big scene, kidnapping babies to call my own on the way out? In reality, I know they don't know what I will do and are just trying to protect me.

Well, it isn't fun or happy, but just so you know, I will cry. Not in front of anyone but Josh. I have become the queen of holding myself together in front of people when fertility is involved. In my head, I will curse but on the outside I will smile and be as normal as I can possibly be. After my good cry, I will pull myself back together and think about the happy side of this, that someone else is pregnant. I will quit being selfish and only thinking of me me me and think about the other person and I am truly happy for them.

My therapist (infertility has driven me to seek professional help) thinks that I need to tell family and friends the best way to share this news with me. The problem is, I don't know that there is any way that would be better than the other so I am still working on that.

Here is my earliest draft:

Dear Friend and Family,

The following are acceptable ways to break the news to me that you are pregnant.

1. Send it in a letter by pigeon.
2. Singing telegram
3. Write it on a $100 bill and give that to me (to keep of course) I will also take anything over $100.
4. When you start to notice I have lost weight then you can tell me in person (only after telling me how good I look)
5. In Morose code
6. Call me when you are in labor
7. Just tell me but then promise me that I will be the kid's favorite person in the whole wide world and follow through after said kid is born
8. While on space mountain at Happiest Place on Earth
9. After I win the lottery
10. After I have my own perfect baby in my arms

Regards,

Kelley