Today would have been my due date. Normally I am really bad at dates but this date stuck with me because today is also my best friend's 30th birthday. I remember when the nurse told me the due date a sense of excitement came over me. As soon as she left, I turned to Josh and said "that is Steph's birthday. That is a sign from God that everything is going to be OK." I was so happy and could not wait to get through this appointment and call her to tell her the awesome news. But I never got the chance. Less than 5 minutes later that all changed when the Dr came in and couldn't find anything on the sonogram. My heart broke right there in that chair and it stayed broken for a very long time.
Today, 9 months later, my heart has mostly healed and my best friend is 30. Do I wish things had turned out differently? OF COURSE! Am I happy where I am today in my life with Josh, family and friends. I can honestly say "yes". (and this is the first time I have said this in the past 9 months) I am so proud of the person I am. I am stronger than I have ever imagined I could be. What I have been through the last few years has not only showed my strength but has also helped me realize how important it is to surround yourself with loving friends and family that will be there at your best and your worst.
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