It's Over.

I went to Dr this morning, no baby, no heartbeat, nothing. I had blood drawn to check and see if it is ectopic pregnancy and knowing my luck, it probably is. I cannot tell you effin' angry I am right now. I can't look at Josh without getting hysterical. I do not want to see or talk to anyone (especially if they are pregnant). I know it sounds mean and unfair to say, but it's the truth and how I feel and I think it is ok at this point for me to express that. I am so worried that this is the beginning of the end for Josh and I. Because, let's face it. I am going to be different. We are now 10k in debt and all i have for it are bruises where the effin shots went in. I am not going to be the same person I was before this and it pains me to know I will change for the worst. If you know a good therapist, send me their information. I feel like I am on the verge of just losing my mind and all the things that made me Kelley all my life are slowly going to drift away.

Thanks for all your prayers and thoughts during this time even if they didn't work. Please respect Josh and my privacy through this matter. I know normally I live my life as an open book but with this, I need to be left alone.