Well I was all positive Polly at first but the wait is killing me and I can slow see my positivity lowering. Do I feel any different? Kinda, but then I think is it all psychosomatic and maybe I am not really as tired as I think I am or my mind is causing me to feel these cramps that I think are implantation cramps. Then I think "No, keep thinking positive." then back to double guessing myself....and then repeat cycle until I think my head is going to explode.
Yes, it is official. Over the last six weeks I have lost my mind and have reached my limit of things I can take. I am sitting here at work today (feeling like I will never completely catch up from being out 2 days this week for the embryo transfer) and our accountant comes up to tell us she is going to be a grandma. OK, I can deal with that (I already knew anyways. At our company, things travel at light speed). Not what I needed to hear.
People have said "oh but you will appreciate it so much more because of everything you have gone through". I can't say I agree with this. I couldn't tell my friends who got easily pregnant that I appreciate what I have or I love my child more just because I went through heartache to get him/her here. It is a nice thought, but just isn't the case.
I know I can't escape people getting pregnant and I know I can't escape my situation either but at this point, I wish I could just push fast forward to get to my happy ending/beginning.
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